What the Shed Looks At

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

DIY WiFi Antenna

This page explains the very basics of an effective homemade WiFi antenna. BTW the best side effect of getting an amateur radio licence is having to learn about radio.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Two headed baby born!!



I like the Youtube comments on this one.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Please make the time to watch this. It is relevant to us.

Gap's Triangle Trouser factory fire

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/dec/14/bangladesh-clothes-factory-workers-jump-to-death

Workers jump to their deaths as fire engulfs factory making clothes for Gap

At least 27 die and more than 100 are injured in blaze at Bangladesh manufacturing plant

Saad Hammadi in Dhaka and Matthew Taylor
guardian.co.uk, Tuesday 14 December 2010 20.51 GMT
Article history

Smoke rises from the clothing factory, where two of the emergency exits were said to have been closed Photograph: Pavel Rahman/AP
Dozens of workers jumped to their deaths and more than 100 were injured when a fire swept through a Bangladeshi factory that makes clothes for high street retailer Gap today.

Witnesses said the blaze – at the factory just outside Dhaka – engulfed the multistorey building, forcing some of those trapped inside to leap from the windows. The fire comes after repeated warnings about fire safety at factories making clothes for western retailers.



Authorities said that the fire initially broke out on the building's 10th floor, where trousers were stored for shipment, and then spread up to the 11th floor where there was a canteen and a manufacturing facility. At least 27 people died in the blaze while one witness said that he saw 50 to 60 people jumping off the 10th floor to escape.

Abdur Rahim, who was injured, said most of the workers were having lunch when the fire broke out. "Heavy plumes of fire suffocated the area." He said two of the emergency exits were closed. Unable to walk down, many broke the windows to escape the fire and injured themselves.

Simon McRae, senior campaigns officer at the anti-poverty charity War on Want, said: "This latest tragedy in a factory owned by a firm which supplies UK stores underlines how workers risk their lives to make our clothes."

The factory was owned by local business giant Hameem Group in the Ashulia industrial zone, 18km outside Dhaka.The Hameem Group has two production complexes at the site, which employ about 12,000 people. The fire broke out in a building where around 6,000 people work.

Sunil Kumar Sarkar, a director at the company, said: "Since it was lunch time, most of the people were out." Hameem Group makes clothing for a number of leading brands but Sunil added: "We are yet to identify the brands that this particular factory had in stock."



A spokesman for Gap confirmed that the factory supplied clothes to its stores, adding that the company was "terribly saddened" by the fire.

"Our immediate priority is that the workers and their families receive the medical and emergency assistance they need," he said. " We have dispatched a team from our company to assist on-site and to ensure that a complete, independent investigation occurs immediately."

The spokesman added: "For more than 15 years Gap Inc has worked to bring fair and safe working conditions to factories around the world. We conduct periodic, unannounced audits of factories to ensure safety, and we were on-site in April and August at this factory. Among the many requirements of our Code of Vendor Conduct is that there are regular fire drills and other safety measures in place.''

The Bangladesh government and the Bangladesh Garment Manufacturers and Exporters Association (BGMEA) have formed two committees to investigate the fire. The home affairs minister, Sahara Khatun, said one would submit a report within seven days.

The company and the BGMEA said they would provide 100,000 takas (£868) in compensation to each family of the dead and pay for the treatment of the injured.

Workers' safety in the rapidly growing textile industry has been a major concern in recent years but the association said that it had improved.

However, labour rights groups say safety standards are still inadequate in many factories. In February, a fire at a sweater factory just outside Dhaka killed 21 people and injured dozens.

Bangladesh has about 4,000 garment factories that export over £6.3bn worth of products a year, mainly to the United States and Europe. Recent protests by low-paid garment workers have gripped the country. Workers demanding the implementation of a new minimum wage clashed with police at an industrial zone in southeastern Bangladesh on Sunday, leaving up to three people dead and 100 hurt. Smaller protests have taken place around Dhaka. On Sunday, workers in the capital blocked a busy road and set two vehicles on fire, police said.

Garment workers in Bangladesh are among the lowest-paid in the world, according to the International Trade Union Confederation, a Vienna-based labour rights group.


For those reading this who don't know why I call it the "Triangle Trouser Factory Fire" read on.

http://www.csun.edu/~ghy7463/mw2.html


Leap for Life, Leap of Death

275 girls started to collect their belongings as they were leaving work at 4:45 PM on Saturday. Within twenty minutes some of girls' charred bodies were lined up along the East Side of Greene Street. Those girls who flung themselves from the ninth floor were merely covered with tarpaulins where they hit the concrete. The Bellevue morgue was overrun with bodies and a makeshift morgue was set up on the adjoining pier on the East River. Hundred's of parents and family members came to identify their lost loved ones. 146 employees of the Triangle Shirtwaist Company were dead the night of March 25, 1911. The horror of their deaths led to numerous changes in occupational safety standards that currently ensure the safety of workers today.

At the time of the fire the only safety measures available for the workers were 27 buckets of water and a fire escape that would collapse when people tried to use them. Most of the doors were locked and those that were not locked only opened inwards and were effectively held shut by the onrush of workers escaping the fire. As the clothing materials feed the fire workers tried to escape anyway they could. 25 passengers flung themselves down the elevator shaft trying to escape the fire. Their bodies rained blood and coins down onto the employees who made it into the elevator cars. Engine Company 72 and 33 were the first on the scene. To add to the already bleak situation the water streams from their hoses could only reach the 7th floor. Their ladders could only reach between the 6th and 7th floor. 19 bodies were found charred against the locked doors. 25 bodies were found huddled in a cloakroom. These deaths, although horrible, was not what changed the feelings toward government regulation. Upon finding that they could not use the doors to escape and the fire burning at their clothes and hair, the girls of the Triangle Shirtwaist Company, aged mostly between 13 and 23 years of age, jumped 9 stories to their death. One after another the girls jumped to their deaths on the concrete over one hundred of feet below. Sometimes the girls jumped three and four at a time. On lookers watched in horror as body after body fell to the earth. "Thud -- dead; thud -- dead; thud -- dead; thud -- dead. Sixty-two thud -- deads. I call them that, because the sound and the thought of death came to me each time, at the same instant," said United Press reporter William Shephard. The bodies of teenage girls lined the street below. Blankets that would-be rescuers used ripped at the weight and the speed the bodies were falling. Fire Department blankets were ripped when multiple girls tried to jump into the same blanket. Some girls tried to jump to the ladders that could not reach the ninth floor. None reached the ladders. The fire escape in the rear of the building collapsed and trapped the employees even more.



Many people were outraged at the tragedy. The Triangle Shirtwaist Fire helped to solidify support for workers' unions like the International Ladies' Garment Workers' Union. The owners, Isaac Harris and Max Blanck, were tried for manslaughter but were acquitted in 1914. Though most people were disgusted with what had happened, there were no regulations in effect that would have saved lives.

The Triangle Shirtwaist Fire of 1911 still remains one of the most vivid and horrid tragedies that changed American Labor Unions and labor laws. The fire had come only five years after Upton Sinclair published his book The Jungle, which detailed the plight of the workers at a meat packer's plant. But instead of reforming the working conditions most people wanted to reform the health and safety regulations on food. The tragic death of 146 girls, whose average age was 19, was needed before the politicians and the people saw for the need to regulate safety in the workplace.

Pauline Cuoio Pepe was a nineteen-year-old sewing machine operator and the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory. "It was all nice young Jewish girls who were engaged to be married. You should see the diamonds and everything. Those were the ones who threw themselves from the window," Pepe told a Manhattan historian. "What the hell did they close the door for? What did the think we were going out with? What are we gonna do, steal a shirtwaist? Who the heck wanted a shirtwaist?" asked Pepe. The New York legislature created a commission called The Factory Commission of 1911. Senator Robert F. Wagner, Alfred E. Smith and Samuel Gompers, president of the American Federation of Labor, headed the commission. One of the most significant results of this commission was the creation of the Fire Prevention division as part of the Fire Department. Restrictions were made to prevent fires from happening and to prevent the blockage of escape routes.




Pauline Cuoio Pepe recounted that the workers didn't even use the regular doors to leave the factory. "...we never went out the front door. We always went one by one out the back. There was a man there searching, because the people were afraid we would take something, so that door was always locked." Even the doors that were not locked were of no use to the workers. The doors in the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory only opened inward. When the girls tried to escape through the doors, the girls in front could not open the doors because of all of the girls pushing from behind. If the door opened outward, the onrush of girls would have opened the door. The factories would be required to make all doors open outward in factories. At the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory, some of the doors were locked. Usually the doors were locked so that clothing could not be stolen through unwatched doors. When the girls tried to escape through the locked doors, the fire consumed them. All doors were to remain unlocked during business hours in accordance with new regulations. Sprinkler systems must be installed if a company employs more than 25 people above ground level. The girls of the Triangle Shirtwaist Company only had 27 buckets of water to save themselves from the fire. Today there are many laws that govern the condition of workplaces. Among those regulations are implemented to let people out during a fire. Multiple fire exits, unblocked fire doors, and clear pathways to exits are all required. Firefighting equipment must be maintained in the building. Fire sprinklers for higher floors and portable fire extinguishers. Education for employees is a must. All employees are to be trained on the proper use of a fire extinguisher as well as escape routes and fire drills. Emergency evacuation plans are also required in writing and posted. Written fire prevention plans must also be available. All areas that are fire hazards or that contain equipment of chemicals that could start fires must be maintained and controlled and all times. The United States Department of Labor classified this set of standards as the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) standards.

The Triangle Shirtwaist Fire of 1911 would change the regulation by government of business. Before the fire government had mostly stayed away from business feeling it had no power to legislate it. After the fire government could not avoid instituting laws to protect the workers. Once the New York legislature enacted safety laws, other states in the US followed suit. Workers also began to look toward unions to voice their concerns over safety and pay. Samuel Gompers of the AFL had won a lot of trust and admiration by sitting in on The Factory Commission of 1911. The International Ladies' Garment Workers' Union also won support and led a march of 100,000 to tell the New York legislature to move into action. Unfortunately not everyone had learned their history. March 25, 1990, on the 79th anniversary of the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire, the Happy Land Social Club fire in the Bronx, New York killed 87 people. Most of the people killed were not workers but customers. There was no sprinkler system, fire alarms, nor exits. The windows had iron bars on them leaving only one door to escape the inferno. On September 3, 1991 in Hamlet North Carolina 25 workers died at a poultry factory. The exits were ill marked, blocked or padlocked. The doors were padlocked to prevent theft. The Triangle Shirtwaist Fire remains as a turning point in US history. Countless state and federal laws were enacted because of this incident. Unions gained numerous new workers who wanted someone to fight for their safety. Now employers in the US have a clear set of guidelines that they need to follow to ensure the safety of their employees.




Don't forget to finish your christmas shopping!!!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Dick Cheney charged in Nigeria corruption case

Fucking seriously.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/dec/02/dick-cheney-halliburton-nigeria-corruption-charges


Nigeria's anti-corruption police said today that they will charge former US vice-president Dick Cheney over a $180m bribery case involving energy firm Halliburton.The announcement follows a probe into the construction of a liquefied natural gas plant in the conflict-ridden Niger Delta.

Halliburton's top official in Nigeria has been summoned and 10 of its Nigerian and expat staff detained for questioning after a raid on the company's office in Lagos. Cheney was head of Halliburton before becoming George W Bush's vice-president in 2001.

"We are filing charges against Cheney," said Femi Babafemi, a spokesman for the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), adding that the charges were likely to be brought next week. He declined to give any further details on what the charges were or where they would be filed.

Houston-based engineering firm KBR, a former Halliburton unit, pleaded guilty last year to US charges that it paid $180m in bribes between 1994 and 2004 to Nigerian officials to secure $6bn in contracts for the Bonny Island Liquefied Natural Gas (LNG) project in the Niger Delta.KBR and Halliburton reached a $579m settlement in America but Nigeria, France and Switzerland have conducted their own investigations into the case.

Halliburton split from KBR in 2007 and has said that its current operations in Nigeria are unrelated.It has described last week's EFCC raid as "an affront against justice", said its offices were ransacked and personnel assaulted, and pledged to defend its staff against what it said were "completely false and outrageous actions".

"As indicated in previous legal activity in the United States, one of the participants in the (Bonny Island) project was a subsidiary of Halliburton Company for part of that period of time," it said last week.

"The Halliburton oil field services operations in Nigeria have never in any way been any part of the LNG project and none of the Halliburton employees have ever had any connection to or participation in that project."

Halliburton said last year it had "reason to believe" payments may have been made to Nigerian officials by agents of its TSKJ consortium, which built the Bonny Island facility. Albert "Jack" Stanley, a former KBR chief executive officer who had worked under Cheney when he headed Halliburton, pleaded guilty in 2008 to charges stemming from a scheme to bribe Nigerian officials.

Nigeria will hold presidential elections in April and some analysts have suggested the sudden revival of interest in the Halliburton case is no coincidence.Incumbent Goodluck Jonathan faces a challenge for the ruling party nomination from former vice-president Atiku Abubakar, who was in office between 1999 and 2007. Abubakar's opponents have in the past tried to link him to the Halliburton case, allegations he has dismissed as a smear campaign.

He was quoted in September as saying there was no evidence against him and that nobody in the United States or elsewhere had sought to question him on the matter. "This is just the work of political opponents who will stop at nothing in order to destroy your political career," he said.


David Smith and Reuters

Not having much luck with scarecrows?

Your not trying hard enough.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Wentworth is gone!

RIP Leslie Nielsen - 2/11/1926-11/28/2010

Sunday, November 28, 2010

After an hour long comcast outage I figured I would put something up about the cablegate release.

Wikileaks has apparently only released 219 of the 250000+ cables so this will be ongoing.

Wikileaks explanation of cable structure

Understanding cables
Every cable message consists of three parts:
  • The top box shows each cables unique reference number, when and by whom it originally was sent, and what its initial classification was.
  • The middle box contains the header information that is associated with the cable. It includes information about the receiver(s) as well as a general subject.
  • The bottom box presents the body of the cable. The opening can contain a more specific subject, references to other cables (browse by origin to find them) or additional comment. This is followed by the main contents of the cable: a summary, a collection of specific topics and a comment section.
To understand the justification used for the classification of each cable, please use this WikiSource article as reference.

Here is a pdf file from state.gov detailing acronyms and oft used terms you may be unfamiliar with. Just copy the term or acronym and paste it into search of the pdf as the file 115 pages long.

So now for some cables


Finally, Qadhafi relies heavily on his long-time  Ukrainian nurse, Galyna Kolotnytska, who has been described as a  ”voluptuous blonde.” Of the rumored staff of four Ukrainian  nurses that cater to the Leader’s health and well-being, XXXXXXXXXXX emphasized to multiple Emboffs that Qadhafi  cannot travel without Kolotnytska, as she alone “knows his  routine.” When Kolotnytska’s late visa application resulted in  her Security Advisory Opinion being received on the day  Qadhafi’s party planned to travel to the U.S., the Libyan  Government sent a private jet to ferry her from Libya to  Portugal to meet up with the Leader during his rest-stop. Some  embassy contacts have claimed that Qadhafi and the 38 year-old  Kolotnytska have a romantic relationship. While he did not  comment on such rumors, a Ukrainian political officer recently  confirmed that the Ukrainian nurses “travel everywhere with the  Leader.” 
http://cablegate.wikileaks.org/cable/2010/01/10BERLIN128.html
Embassy Berlin strongly recommends that the Washington Terrorist Finance Tracking Program (TFTP) and data privacy experts currently scheduled to visit Brussels next week also visit Berlin to discuss TFTP and U.S. data privacy policy with German officials. Germany is critical to the debate on data protection issues within the EU and we need to engage German government interlocutors, parliamentarians and opinion makers. The exaggerated data privacy views of the current minority governing partner, the Free Democratic Party (FDP), have contributed to a domestic discussion that distorts U.S. policy and is negatively-influencing the European debate. Embassy believes we will be most successful if we address German data privacy concerns in a comprehensive way, including various information sharing programs such as HSPD-6, TFTP, and Passenger Name Records.
For context: TFPT  Maybe this has something to do with how we are adopting china's standards on the internet.  
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704693104575639692746020382.html?mod=googlenews_wsj
http://cablegate.wikileaks.org/cable/2009/07/09TEGUCIGALPA645.html
 In our view, none of the above arguments has any
substantive validity under the Honduran constitution. Some
are outright false. Others are mere supposition or ex-post
rationalizations of a patently illegal act.
Essentially:

-- the military had no authority to remove Zelaya from the
country;

-- Congress has no constitutional authority to remove a
Honduran president;

-- Congress and the judiciary removed Zelaya on the basis
of a hasty, ad-hoc, extralegal, secret, 48-hour process;

-- the purported "resignation" letter was a fabrication and
was not even the basis for Congress's action of June 28;
and

-- Zelaya's arrest and forced removal from the country
violated multiple constitutional guarantees, including the
prohibition on expatriation, presumption of innocence and
right to due process.
So that means that even though the state department is touting the foreign investment oppurtunities in Honduras, they recognize the illegality of the Honduran coup.
http://cablegate.wikileaks.org/cable/2009/02/09ASHGABAT218.html
¶1. (S/NF) A Turkmen customs official told an Embassy LES on February 13 that an Iranian Embassy diplomatic container with AK-47's, sniper rifles and ammunition hidden in it had been discovered one week earlier at the Serdar Uli (Gaudan) customs point in Ashgabat, where vehicles and containers arriving from or bound for Iran are inspected. The weapons were reportedly hidden underneath two Turkmen carpets that the Iranian Embassy was shipping to Iran.

¶2. (S/NF) The LES went to the Ashgabat Customs Point (a different location) to inquire about an Embassy pouch shipment arriving by truck, and an issue arose about opening the Embassy's container for inspection. The customs official, who is a close friend of LES, then brought up the Iranian container incident. He said that a local shipping employee of the Iranian Embassy had been present when another official, acting on a "hunch that something was not right," opened the Iranian Embassy container. The customs official told LES that the official who discovered the cache was honored for his actions and received a promotion.

¶3. (S/NF) COMMENT: Turkmenistan imposes stringent controls on the importation of any type of firearm, and Chiefs of Missions' security detail are all unarmed. Even assuming that the weapons in question were intended for the Iranian Embassy's internal security, this would not explain the presence of offensive weapons such as sniper rifles, in the cache. The Embassy has no official confirmation about the incident, which was, we note, relayed second-hand to our LES. END COMMENT.
http://cablegate.wikileaks.org/cable/2009/10/09KABUL3068.html
Afghans don't get democracy.    (C) In answer to a question from the RoCK and the SCR 
about the credibility of the elections, A[hmad]W[ali]K[arzai] said democracy
was new for Afghanistan, and that people in the region did
not understand the point of having one election, let alone
two. "The people do not like change," he said. "They think,
the President is alive, and everything is fine. Why have an
election?"
http://cablegate.wikileaks.org/cable/2010/02/10KABUL693.html
Karzai's paranoia is justified.    
¶11. (S//Rel NATO, ISAF) AWK was eager to engage and rarely 
stopped talking in the two hour meeting. While he presented
himself as a partner to the United States and is eager to be
seen as helping the coalition, he also demonstrated that he
will dissemble when it suits his needs. He appears not to
understand the level of our knowledge of his activities, and
that the coalition views many of his activities as malign,
particularly relating to his influence over the police. We
will need to monitor his activity closely, and deliver a
recurring, transparent message to him of where are redlines
are and what we expect of him in the months ahead.




A Personal Appeal


https://chrome.google.com/extensions/detail/idkjdjficifbfjjkdkiimioljbloddpl?hl=en

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Wikileaks Drinking Game

http://www.hindustantimes.com/US-warns-Britain-India-over-new-WikiLeaks-revelations/Article1-631705.aspx

Whistleblower website WikiLeaks is set to release some three million documents online, and some of these could potentially damage the US relations with many countries, including Britain and India, according to reports on Saturday. It is not known what the documents are about, or whether India ismentioned. But State Department spokesman PJ Crowley said, "We have reached out to India to warn them about a possible release of documents."

"We do not know precisely what WikiLeaks has or what it plans to do. We have made our position clear. These documents should not be released," Crowley said.

But in London the Daily Mail reported that among the documents about to be released are secret papers related to the US assessments of then British premier Gordon Brown's personality and his prospects of winning the general election.

Anticipating damages, British Prime Minister David Cameron was warned on Friday night by the US that secrets of the "special relationship" are about to be laid bare, the Daily Mail said.


http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5ii_po6skxsApFznWdim4QaAA3IKw?docId=CNG.e80666177013e5bf887c610c599c5665.661

Canada has been informed by the United States of the potential leak of sensitive diplomatic correspondence by the Wikileaks website, a foreign ministry spokeswoman confirmed Friday.

"We have learned about this potential leak through a variety of sources," Melissa Lantsman told AFP, adding that US ambassador David Jacobson had telephoned Canadian Foreign Minister Lawrence Cannon about the matter


http://www.dawn.com/2010/11/27/wikileaks-plans-to-release-94-papers-about-pakistan-2.html

The WikiLeaks is expected to put 94 documents about Pakistan on its website this weekend, diplomatic sources told Dawn.

The documents mainly contain telegrams sent by the US Embassy in Islamabad to the State Department in Washington.

Some of these papers relate to US observations about Pakistan’s policy towards Afghanistan, the debate within Pakistan on the war against terror, Islamabad’s cooperation with Washington and other military and intelligence matters.

Some documents also contain US reservations about Pakistan’s nuclear programme.

The sources said that changes in the US communication system allowed an anti-war activist access to more than 400,000 secret documents who handed them over to the whistleblower website.

US officials have warned that Afghanistan, China, Russia, Central Asian Republics, Canada, Britain, France, Turkey and Nato will all be affected by this unprecedented leak.


http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gZuyUbPj_TupkaqlkPS7ed5xnUcw?docId=51c85a7635254188a1370853e221ffa4

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton has reached out to several countries about the expected release of classified State Department cables by the WikiLeaks website.

Clinton reached out to leaders in Germany, Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Britain, France and Afghanistan, spokesman P.J. Crowley said in a tweet Friday evening.

Separately, Crowley confirmed that Clinton spoke Friday by phone with Chinese Foreign Minister Yang Jiechi about the release.


http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5grii3RHb-D4QHemnerLxMYPO_L6Q?docId=CNG.25177ec61aed2bd3050d3e2b8bda84d2.311

Washington has warned its ally Israel of potential embarrassment from the expected release of US diplomatic cables on whistle-blowing website WikiLeaks, an Israeli newspaper said on Thursday.

A senior Israeli official, quoted in Haaretz, said it has been informed that WikiLeaks plans to release hundreds of thousands of diplomatic cables, some of which could include confidential reports from the US embassy in Tel Aviv.

"The Americans said they view the leak very seriously," he told the paper, on condition of anonymity.

"They don't know when they will be released on the Internet and what exactly they say, but they didn't want us to read about it in the newspapers," the Israeli official said.


http://www.iol.co.za/news/world/wikileaks-docs-may-hurt-us-russia-ties-1.877633

New files about to be dumped onto the Internet by WikiLeaks contain embarrassing diplomatic cables that could harm Moscow's relations with Washington, the Kommersant newspaper reported on Friday.

The confidential cables contain general assessments of the political situation in Russia and “unflattering characteristics” of Russian leaders, the respected business daily reported citing a top source at the whistleblowing website.

“The documents include recordings of US diplomats' conversations with Russian politicians, assessments of Russia's most notable events, and analyses of what is happening in the country and in its domestic and foreign politics,” the newspaper wrote.


So I propose we get together and read through the cables and every time we find something that will piss off an ally of America or about how we are oppressing populations in the third world for American hegemony we take a drink. I assume we will die about a day or two in. What do you think?

"Ship Of Fools" by Dr. Theodore Kaczynski

Friday, November 26, 2010

The Best Things In Life are Free

Here is the reality of higher education.

The Worlds Most Action Packed Movie

Cyriak

I've seen this guy a lot, but for some reason I have never posted his stuff on the blog. Anyway, check out this guy's Youtube channel.

Matthew Taylor: Brain research with respect to politics

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Follow-up to James's post. Read 'Beard on Beard' first.

Beard on Beard


Seriously, go to this guys user page. He has 31 episodes of this up and it's fucking hilarious.

Monday, November 15, 2010

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/283140/lucille_ball_mother_of_science_fiction_pg2.html?cat=

I Love Lucy is often regarded as the most beloved sitcom ever. Star Trek is often regarded as the most beloved sci-fi television show ever.

What do they have in common? Lucille Ball.

The wacky red head comedian along with Cuban born husband Desi Arnaz not only gave us a ground breaking comedy classic, but with their studio Desilu brought to TV audiences the science fiction masterpiece Star Trek. If Gene Roddenberry was its loving father, Lucy was its nurturing, entertainment savvy mother.

It was 1964. Seven years earlier, America had said goodbye to the Ricardos as I Love Lucy ended. Through careful business dealings, Desi and Lucy had amassed an enormous fortune and Desilu, their studio created in 1951 produced everything from sitcoms to spy shows. Gene Roddenberry, a former LA police officer turned screenwriter was pitching a new television series about a galaxy traveling starship or as he described it "wagon train to the stars."

Some at Desilu balked at Roddenberry's sci-fi concept, thinking it was childish fare or mere escapist action oriented science fiction like Flash Gordon or Buck Rogers. While Roddenberry may have gained inspiration from those two pioneering sci-fi properties, he invested thoughtfulness, intellectual stimulation and philosophy into Star Trek that caught the attention of Lucille Ball. She both liked Gene Roddenberry and felt his idea had huge potential. After rejecting the pilot, The Cageas being "too cerebral" - it's said Lucy stood firmly behind the show, prompting NBC to order a second pilot - something exceedingly rare in the television business.

Star Trek premiered on NBC in 1966. After three seasons, the network canceled the show citing dismal ratings. Shortly thereafter, executives realized the most valuable audience segment - the favored demographic of males 18-49 were primary viewers. This is advertising gold. If NBC had known this fact before cancellation, Star Trek may have had additional seasons.
In syndication, Star Trek saw new life and lived long and prospered. Fans who missed Captain Kirk's adventures loved the reruns, while new generations discovered it. The rest is history, as in television, film and book publishing history. It spun off four additional programs and at this count ten feature films with an eleventh being produced and directed by JJ Abrams and scheduled for release in December 2008.

Evidently Lucy not only knew funny, she knew great science fiction too.
So Lucille Ball is the reason we have Star Trek. Well, I now unveil a deeply buried piece of nerd gold.


Song Parodies -> Lucy's In Production Of Star Trek

Original Song Title:

"Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Lucy's In Production Of Star Trek"

Parody Written by:

Steve Kalafut

This is the second, and hopefully last, time I'll step on Johnny D's concept album. I couldn't resist this because the original Star Trek involved a real-live Lucy, as in Lucille Ball, co-owner of the studio which first produced the series. NBC would eventually run the show, but rejected its pilot episode, called "The Cage". Mr. Roddenberry then had to scrap all the original characters, except one, and would base his new Captain on a certain American president.
Picture yourself with a new TV pilot
With starships which travel and warp through the skies
Everyone tells you, you must rearrange things
Before they will give it a try

None of your characters they let you keep
But for one with pointy ears
Look for the woman with bright orange hair and she's here

Lucy's in production of Star Trek
Lucy's in production of Star Trek
Lucy's in production of Star Trek, aaaah

Follow their orders to find a new Captain
With Kennedy's daring to do what he'll do
None of the studios wanted your program
Except for one named Desilu

Afterwards Star Trek is on for three years
Space is the final frontier
Sit on the bridge, have the helmsman engage and you're gone

Lucy's in production of Star Trek
Lucy's in production of Star Trek
Lucy's in production of Star Trek, aaaah

Picture your show in rerun syndication
The Next Generation and movies compare
Suddenly someone stands in the transporter
The woman with bright orange hair

Lucy's in production of Star Trek
Lucy's in production of Star Trek
Lucy's in production of Star Trek, aaaah

Lucy's in production of Star Trek
Lucy's in production of Star Trek
Lucy's in production of Star Trek, aaaah

Friday, November 12, 2010

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Monday, November 8, 2010

Take 2


Hopefully this one still works when you get to it.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Bill Maher hits it on the head.


He said it much better than I could (or Mark Ames for that matter) but this is pretty much my problem with the rally for sanity.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Sunday, October 31, 2010

biker has balls of steel

Fault Lines - Rio: Olympic City


sanityrallysign

Maybe what’s happening in America today will seem funny to some other culture in some future time—how it happened that in the depths of America’s decline, Liberals, the great opposition to everything mean and ruthless in this culture, couldn’t muster up a get-together for anything better than a mock-in. Led by a clown.

I confess, I couldn’t hack it. I came to the rally–saw those two pastry chefs from the Mythbusters show get all the Liberal Elites to hold a post-modern human wave, an ironic human wave allowing all the self-conscious Liberal Elites to play like Real America, while salvaging their vanity because it was all ironic and post-modern… And to make sure that everyone knew they were not really human-waving but rather meta-human-waving, the Mythbusters duo deconstructed the human wave. And all the Liberal Elites smiled and laughed knowingly, because all 150,000 were in on the biggest inside-joke wankathon in American history. And that was it for me–I was outta there.

A century-old ideological movement, Liberalism: once devoted to impossible causes like ending racism and inequality, empowering the powerless, fighting against militarism, and all that silly hippie shit—now it’s been reduced to besting the other side at one-liners…and to the Liberals’ credit, they’re clearly on top. Sure there are a lot of problems out there, a lot of pressing needs—but the main thing is, the Liberals don’t look nearly as stupid as the other guys do. And if you don’t know how important that is to this generation, then you won’t understand what’s so wrong and so deeply depressing about the Jon Stewart Rally to Restore Sanity.

That’s what makes this rally so depressing and grotesque: It’s an anti-rally, a kind of mass concession speech without the speech–some kind of sick funeral party for Liberalism, in which Liberals are led, at last, by a clown. Not a figurative clown, but by a clown–and Liberals are sure that this somehow makes them smarter and less lame–and indeed, they are less lame, because they are not taking themselves too seriously, which is something they’re very, very proud of. All great political struggles and ideological advances, all great human rights achievements were won by clown-led crowds of people who don’t take themselves too seriously, duh! That’s why they’re following a clown like Stewart, whose entire political program comes down to this: not being stupid, the way the other guys are stupid–or when being stupid, only stupid in a self-consciously stupid way, which is to say, not stupid. That’s it, that’s all this is about: Not to protest wars or oligarchical theft or declining health care or crushing debt or a corrupt political system or imperial decay—nope, the only thing that motivates Liberals to gather in the their thousands is the chance to celebrate their own lack of stupidity! Woo-hoo!

AP Photo

It’s the final humiliating undoing of Enlightenment Idealism that made Liberalism possible–imagine if Jefferson, Diderot, Montesquieu, Madison et al reduced the entire Enlightenment’s struggle against the old feudal order to “I’m against the monarchy because the monarchy’s stupid…but then again, Rousseau makes a fool of himself with his Romanticism, and Tom Paine is so serious with his ‘Rights of Man’, the Revolutionaries are just as crazy as the Monarchists, so rather than join either side and risk opening myself to mockery, I’m just going to stand back and laugh at them all and say, ‘Really? Independence? Everyone is created equal and has the right to pursue happiness? Really, TJ? You sure you want to say that about Bluebeard? Really?” [LAUGH TRACK]…

It’s not Stewart’s or Colbert’s fault, let’s be clear on that—they’re the only ones doing their job here. They’re the only ones fighting this battle, and the only way they’re surviving is by elaborately pretending they’re not really fighting anyone’s battle over anything, they’re just having a laugh—it’s the same rationale that jesters used in medieval times, and Stewart and Colbert play the same role as the jesters did then…and we’re also playing our role as powerless peasants reduced to self-mockery and snickering at our Masters behind their backs. It’s not their fault that Liberalism today has as its highest priority not looking stupid—and that its premiere rally is framed in such a way that everyone who came to this rally is somehow indemnified from looking foolish precisely because it’s not really a political rally, it’s more like a mockery of a political rally—in a self-consciously smart sort of way. And the Daily Show Democrats who gathered celebrated themselves for this amazing achievement: that they didn’t make fools of themselves standing for something that some other guys could then use to mock them. That’s the biggest sin of the other side, the Tea Partiers especially, at least as the Daily Show fans see it: they look silly, and worse, they’re not shamed into suicide from looking silly, the way Liberals would be shamed into OD’ing on Ambien if they opened themselves up to that sort of mockery.

It was this same lack of ironic self-awareness (or rather, this absence of any sort of mockery-avoidance technology) that led my generation to pillory the hippies and progressives–that’s why we were South Park Republicans before we were Daily Show Democrats: because back then, standing for liberal values meant something, and that made you look lame. Only now, when Liberal ideals have vanished into mythology and all they stand for is “not as crazy or stupid as Republicans” is it safe to camp out with the Democrats. They put nothing on the line ideologically, which perfectly jibes with this generation’s highest value. And that makes it perfectly safe to go to something like a large political rally like Stewart’s—you side with a hollow movement stripped of ideology or purpose, and then you gather to celebrate your own hollowness at a rally whose one promise is “You won’t open yourself up to mockery if you attend this rally” and whose goal is to show how not-stupid “we” are compared to the mockable activists on both the right and the left–the Beckites and the Code Pinkers.

I’ve come to the conclusion that this has been the Great Dream of my generation: to position ourselves in such a way that we’re beyond mockery. To not look stupid. That’s the biggest crime of all–looking stupid. That’s why they’ve turned Stewart into a demigod, because he knows how to make the other guys look really stupid, and if you’re on the same team as Stewart, you’re on the safe side of the mockery, rather than dangerously vulnerable to mockery.

In fact, I think this is why so many Gen-X/Yers turned against Obama: because he made them look stupid. They made themselves vulnerable to looking stupid by believing in him–and he jilted them. That’s how they see it–not that politics is a long ugly process that has nothing to do with self-esteem and everything to do with money and brawling–it was more like an “indie” consumer choice: They bought into the Obama brand, wore it, and suddenly discovered that the label wasn’t as cool as it seemed at the time, especially after the sentimental high of electing a half-black president wore off to the hard slog of what came after… so they threw the Obama jeans away and went to work trying to salvage their coolness creds for having made that fashion mistake. It’s captured best in this Awl essay by Tom Hanks’ daughter–E. A. Hanks, of all people: “Dear The Left: A Breakup Letter” which begins with her reaction to the special Senate election that Scott Brown won:

Dear The Left,

It’s interesting that you couldn’t keep Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate seat. I’m taking it for granted that you understand that I don’t mean “interesting” at all, but rather “detestable.”

So little Miss Hanks is not joking in her title for the essay–it really is written like a breakup letter. Leaving aside for now the question of “What the fuck is Tom Hanks’ daughter doing talking as if she and ‘The Left’ ever had a deal?”–or the other issue of “Why does your father make shitty Romantic comedy movies that turn decent people into anti-American suicide bombers?”–because we’ll get nowhere if we try answering those…anyway, leaving that aside…By framing her disillusionment as a breakup letter, she reduces the political struggle to a kind of frivolous private-school irony for 20-something Heathers, indemnifying her against Gen-X/Y reader suspicions that her break with Obama might mean she’s one of those Lefties who “have a cow.” She’s not–she’s cool and ironic and has a “Scott Brown? Really? You lost to Scott Brown? No, Really?” attitude, just like all the people who read her have.

20_6338201612102812503930176_21_JGregoryEHanksMMcCainLRettmerACowtherCCheek_063009-1

E. A. Hanks (second from left) with Megan McCain and her friends from “The Left”

Keep in mind that this E.A. Hanks “break-up letter” wound up becoming a hugely popular, heavily-e-forwarded article earlier this year among all the Daily Show Democrats, as embarrassment swept across the Liberal egosphere following Scott Brown’s surprise victory in the Senate race. She is the voice of the Rally today.

So now ask–who writes breakup letters? What’s the point of that? If you’re breaking up with a lover whom you just want to get away from, you won’t publish a breakup letter, you just want it to go away. But if you’re breaking up with a lover because s/he humiliated you, or you’re worried somehow how this will affect your reputation among the cool crowd (the obsession of Gen-Xers and –Yers), then you DO write a letter and publish it, so that you make HIM look like the fool, you transfer the mockery and humiliation out of your hurt little feelers and restore your public image as someone who is cool, who is self-aware, who never gets too excited about things but this one time you did and you got burned and that sucks dude….It’s an elaborate Gen-X/Y rhetorical strategy to abandon a movement or a trend that’s in serious danger of making its fans look stupid. And it’s even worse than that—there’s something very 1950s about her peevishness and selfishness, a kind of Ayn Rand cheerleader dumping the QB because he lost the Homecoming game—all the while she waited it out beneath the bleachers to see who’d win, but she’d foolishly placed her bets a bit too early with the new black QB…

What E. A. Hanks didn’t realize–what no one at the Rally today celebrating their coolness realizes– is that this isn’t about cheerleading for the sentimental favorite and getting rewarded for it by some kind of Liberal Hollywood God—she’s supposed to fight a long dreary battle that goes on and on, long after the credits roll. But that’s not what she signed up for: She saw it as Obama escorting her to the Prom after he made all those hard-hearted Randian cheerleaders weep into their pom-poms at how he overcame adversity and realized the American Dream…only it turned out he can’t win the Big Game, he’s got no Red Zone O. I mean, like, where’s my The Blind Side black man? If Christians can have their Blind Side, why can’t we have our Liberal Blind Side too? The idea that Ms Hanks and the Gen-X cheerleaders looking over her shoulder are supposed to help win the game by any means necessary is as far from her petulant thoughts as possible here.

Instead, as the wounded party, what’s first on her mind is making sure she’s the first to dump, the easiest way to restoring her cool credibility:

Which is to say, we’re over. Yep, sorry. We’re through.

It’s not even that I don’t agree with you, because I do, on all the big ones, at least: Teddy Kennedy’s legacy, gays, abortion, endless wars for the profit of private companies, drowning polar bears, the works. I’m not running off to declare nonsense as truth like, “Health Care Will Kill Us All!” or anything like that.

But, you know what? I don’t think you’re good for me. Or for America, for that matter.

Here’s where something much more sinister about what passes for “Liberal” in my generation is revealed: the totally-selfish Ayn Rand activist, the petulant Libertarian protagonist who has a brand manager’s understanding of what it means to be “Liberal” or “Left”. It is this brand manager’s disillusionment with the brand that is fuelling the Jon Stewart rally—by identifying herself so closely with something that turned out to be not nearly as cool as the buzz claimed, she made herself vulnerable, and mockable. Which may seem frivolous to you old folks out there, but for her and for Gen-X/Yers, exposing yourself like that is the equivalent of a decade of marching for Civil Rights and against the war, getting arrested, beaten, jailed, negotiating with authorities, teaching, etc….here is the Gen-X/Y equivalent of “laying it all on the line”:

There was a moment, after the inauguration of Barack Obama as our 44th President (the one you take credit for) when there was an in-coming wave of people singing.

As the noise got closer, those words made famous by Bananarama became clear and rang out, golden over the Mall: “Na Na Na / Na Na Na / Hey Hey Hey / Goodbye!”

Countless people were waving up at the sky, and when I craned my neck back I could see Marine One was taking the previous President away, forever. His time was done.

I started to wave and sing too, but before I could really give it my best, I burst into tears, The Left. You would have been proud.

When I looked up to try to chip off the frozen snot and salt water from my face, I noticed something: the 100 people in my immediate vicinity were also crying.

And I don’t mean quiet, private, attractive tears.

People were sobbing, really going for it. There was more choking and heaving than a seventh grade girl’s bathroom.

I caught an evanescent understanding of the meaning of catharsis.

It’s not a pleasant, tidy emotional process, wherein one gets closure by having neat conversations that make you feel okay-it’s the violent purging of the cancer that’s been pulsating wetly in your guts for eight years.

Now you might be thinking here, “Hey wait a minute, this sounds just like something Meg Ryan would say, straight out of Sleepless in Seattle orYou’ve Got Mail!” Except that it’s worse: like so many disillusioned, spurned Daily Show Dems, she’s flustered that it didn’t all turn out the way a movie would—Obama got her all hot ‘n’ wet, and then somehow things got messy and ugly, it didn’t follow a 3-act dramatic plot. It just turned into work, with no credits ever rolling signifying the end, period. Work is supposed to be compressed into a 30-second montage because work is boring and lame—fuck this shit! It’s the purest expression of a profoundly hollow mindset, devoid of ideology, devoid of purpose beyond protecting her brand.

Film Review The Blind Side

Why couldn’t Obama be more like him?

Hanks’ “break-up letter” wouldn’t matter here if it hadn’t been so popular, and such an early expression of the same mentality fueling the Jon Stewart rally. Somehow, far, far poorer Liberal Elites from the coasts identified with the far richer, privileged Hanks girl because everyone’s stuck in the same rhetorical rules and mindset that were formed in a more prosperous era, when being petulant and frivolous and ironic made a bit more sense, economically speaking. Now we’re fucked, and we’re incapable of adapting to our own desperate, declining circumstances with a more serious rhetorical style that matches our desperation and decline—we’re stuck rolling our eyes like we did in the good ol’ days, but rolling our eyes now is just plain bizarre for everyone but a privileged, selfish crypto-Randroid like Hanks. And not only have we learned to talk and act like celebrities, but we have absorbed the stupidity of their stock plots, in which a happy ending like the Obama Rally stays happy after the credits roll—nothing changes or gets complicated or ugly, it’s just over—over, goddamnit, like in the movies! That’s just not fair, you’re not supposed to cut to a new set of struggles after the happy ending—what kind of movie is that?

So even though we’re jobless and on food stamps, we’re afraid of coming off looking stupid complaining about it–whatever dire situation we’re in, the main thing is not to look stupid when complaining about it. the best way not to look stupid is to blame the guy who made you look stupid:

But I standing [sic] on the National Mall, crying in the arms of that stranger from Georgia, I realized that the anger I had for President Bush gave me was nothing in comparison with the rage I felt for The Left.

The Left.

DailyKos and MoveOn and CodePink and yes, that other one, too. Grand-standing Congresspeople, bandana-ed prostesters and pontificating talking heads.

So much talking! So much feeling! And yet… nothing changed!

Yes, where’s that permanent change! It’s not supposed to be an ongoing struggle—change happens, it’s over, you get up and leave the movie theater. It’s not supposed to be like this! Fuck you, Code Pink!

Like Stewart, she hates on CodePink as much or more as the crazies on the right. That’s been misinterpreted by earnest Lefties as false equivalency–”How can you compare the war crimes and the tens of thousands of deaths caused by one side to shrill protests by CodePink on the other side?” they cry. But you see, that’s not what the Daily Show Democrats are talking about when they equate the two–what makes them equally bad is that they’re equally lame. And siding with either side makes you siding with lameness. That’s worse than any alleged war crime, by my generation’s standards.

You focused so much attention on beating Fox! All of your energy was spent on seeing who could win the spin war, and suddenly we were all shouting “You’re wrong! You’re wrong! You’re wrong!” together, to the point where we were just as hysterical and terrified as the other side! Probably even more!

In other words, “you” started to become effective. Not in the way a petulant Gen-Xer wanted it to be though, because one had to look lame to be effective. One had to be like CodePink–and CodePink isn’t cool. Gen-X/Y didn’t sign up for lame, they signed up for Obama, the sentimental favorite!

And then of course comes the requisite Gen-X self-awareness and self-mockery, preventative-mockery, the most popular rhetorical strategy of my Generation:

And yet here I go, changing everything between us. If I’m being honest, our relationship was all about placating my ego. All of it: the marches, the sit-ins, the phone trees, the whole shebang.

It was about glorifying my personal beliefs, and convincing myself that I was more against the war,more for gay rights, more serious about securing abortion rights, than anyone else.

If you think about it, it was pretty nifty thinking: It’ll look like I’m selflessly placing myself in harm’s way to make a point about how fucked up things are! Then everyone will know how serious I am, how serious I take things. Everyone will be super-impressed.

The only word I can think to describe it is masturbatory. My relationship with The Left was masturbatory.

The only purpose this part of the essay–and it’s the most important part of her argument–is that it serves to bolster what rhetoricians call her “ethos”: She’s establishing herself as self-aware and cool enough to mock herself in-advance, because only lame people or people who take things too seriously or weirdos are incapable of self-mockery. It’s a reverse-helix trick that answers the reader’s inevitable question: “Wait, is she just whining because she got dumped first? Because if she got dumped first, then someone’s a-gonna make fun of her…But no, she must be the one doing the dumping, because she’s showing that she can laugh at herself, and that means she’s not in any sort of emotionally-committed state. She’s not very mockable, which is exactly where I see myself.”

Then comes the ending of her essay, in which she winds up making the exact wrong choice that my generation made when it went “libertarian” as the fake-alternative to Democrat liberalism and Republican conservativism: going it alone.

And that’s why I’m taking this post-Kennedy moment to break up with you, The Left. I don’t want to talk about how I want America to change. I want the inevitable changes that mark American’s great march toward freedom for everyone to be manifested by my individual actions-by everyone’s individual actions.

What’s the point in being a voice in a crowd that’s screaming so loudly that no one has any idea what everyone’s saying? (Even if it’s a crowd I agree with!)

Like a petulant whiner, she wants things to happen without getting her ego dirty. Going it alone is the least-dangerous choice for someone whose politics are driven by vanity, but like the fashionable libertarianism of my generation, the most dangerous choice of all when you consider that politics is all about power struggles over how to order a particular civilization, what to prioritize, how to allocate, and so on. If the ruling class has enormous amounts of money and power and collectivizes in a variety of billionaires’ unions and special interests unions, and your answer is, “I’ll go it alone, at least I won’t look stupid” then you’re just fucking stupid.

It all becomes grotesquely clear with her zinger-conclusion, which equates the Left with “That Lame Guy” whom college wits would always make fun of:

Someone who comes to mind, The Left, is Bob Dylan. (See, I told you we’d still agree on things!)

You know what you’re like? You’re like the people who booed him when he went electric. You’re the pouting kid demanding more “protest songs,” when they’re all protest songs,

And who the hell boos Obam-I mean, Bob Dylan-anyway?

At this point, the Gen-X/Gen-Y stance becomes downright depressing. This is how far we’ve declined: a Gen-Y privileged hipster can’t even muster a zinger from her own era, so she reaches back to some barely-talented rat-cunning jerk from the 60s as her idea of a real cultural hero, if only because he’s managed to avoid being savagely mocked—and then she pulls her zinger from that generation’s “moment,” which was mocked by the next generation, and recycled by her generation…Cultural stagnation is the underlying theme of this whole mess, and that’s what leads back to the Rally to Restore Sanity. America and Liberalism have stagnated and decayed so much that they have to pull their zinger references from 40-year-old put downs that predate E. A. Hanks’ birth. And it still works–because the people who booed Dylan for going electric–their biggest sin is that they “took Dylan too seriously” and made fools of themselves for decades to come. That is her devastating evaluation of how the Obama movie went bad. That’s the lesson–bail out of anything that threatens to make you look lame. The big zinger is borrowed from a hipster put-down so old it predates Ms. Hanks birth—citing an old mockery-favorite like this. But everyone got it. And everyone agreed with her.

You see, this is why so many cool Gen-Xers and Gen-Yers were so jazzed up about going to the Stewart rally–by definition, they were guaranteed not to look stupid by going to it, because it’s not really a rally. They’re not putting anything on the line. They’re just going to chant the equivalent of that annoying Saturday Night Live Update skit “Really?” No generation ever looked so cool so late in their lives as my generation. We did it! We achieved our dream! We don’t look as stupid as the hippies did when they were in their 40s! Woo-hoo! We still mock ourselves and we’re still self-aware, but best of all, we don’t look stupid by devoting ourselves to ideas or movements that other people might one day laugh at. We won! We won the least-stupid-looking-generation competition! Let’s gather together in an ironic, self-aware way, and celebrate how we’re not really rallying or laying anything on the line–not even now, not even when the whole fucking country is collapsing. What’s our prize, Don?

Meanwhile, behind Door Number 1, the country is in two losing wars and the worst economic crisis in 80 years, behind Door Number 2, over 40 million Americans are on fucking food stamps, behind Door Number 3, millions are being land-transfered out of their property like landless peasants in a banana republic–yeah, it’s bad, whatever dude, it’s always been bad, nothing ever changes much, don’t have a cow, deal with it…

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say a few things that might sound stupid, but bear with me:

1. Collective action is the only possible way to change shit. Large numbers of collectivized nobodies rallying to demand what they want–a better cut of the pie, and a better world to live in. It’s the only thing that power-elites fear and the only way to get them to negotiate. There must be thousands of billionaires’ unions—whether the Chamber of Commerce or the gazillions of libertarian networks—and the only thing they hope and dream about and invest their effort into is planting a seed into your vain Gen-X brain that makes you think it’s lame to collectivize. That’s it, that’s the only thing they care about while they’re plundering away. You’ll have to stomach being around people who are lame, and who say lame things, and you’ll feel lame—so you’ll have to decide which is lamer: the fear of being lame, or forming an alliance with people lamer than you in order to struggle against people far meaner, far more greedy and destructive than the lame people you hate—people who have no qualms about being lame when they collectivize, so long as they destroy you and grab everything they want. Tough choice, I know.

2. The problem with the Left wasn’t that they were too fixated on proving they were right, or that they didn’t make enough noise before the war about the lies that led us into that war…the problem is that the Left doesn’t stand for anything Big because it’s not guided by a vision or an Ideal. What does the Left stand for? Let me suggest a few things in people’s own personal interests in these decaying times that the Left should stand for: first, people need money. Then if they have money, they need Life. Then they might be interested in “ideals” set out in the contract that this country is founded on. Ever read the preamble to the Constitution? There’s nothing about private property there and self-interest. Nothing at all about that. It’s a contract whose purpose is clearly spelled out, and it’s a purpose that’s the very opposite of the purpose driving Stewart’s rally, or the purpose driving the libertarian ideology so dominant over the past few generations. This country, by contract, was founded in order to strive for a “more Perfect Union”—that’s “union,” as in the pairing of the words “perfect” and “union”—not sovereign, not states, not local, not selfish, but “union.” And that other purpose at the end of the Constitution’s contractual obligations: promote the “General Welfare.” That means “welfare.” Not “everyone for himself” but “General Welfare.” That’s what it is to be American: to strive to form the most perfect union with each other, and to promote everyone’s general betterment. That’s it. The definition of an American patriot is anyone promoting the General Welfare of every single American, and anyone helping to form the most perfect Union—that’s “union”, repeat, “Union” you dumb fucks. Now, our problem is that there are a lot of people in this country who have dedicated their entire lives to subverting the stated purpose of this country. We must be prepared to identify those who disrupt and sabotage our national purpose of creating this “more perfect union” identifying those who sabotage our national goal of “promoting the General Welfare”—and calling them by their name: traitors. You who strive to form this Perfect Union and promote General Welfare—You are Patriots.

3. Anytime anyone says anything libertarian, spit on them. Libertarians are by definition enemies of the state: they are against promoting American citizens’ general welfare and against policies that create a perfect union. Like Communists before them, they are actively subverting the Constitution and the American Dream, and replacing it with a Kleptocratic Nightmare.

4. A slogan, a line from Blade Runner: “Then we’re stupid, and we’ll die.”

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